Sunday, June 15, 2008

Protip: Swordfish have lasers on top of their heads.

Attention would-be world dominators! Looking for a terrifying animal that you can throw your arch rival to when the battle is easily winnable via gunshot to the head? Looking for an animal that savagely strikes anything in it's range instead of spearing it's prey? Look no further than the majestic swordfish! It comes pre-equipped with "special organs" (PeTA doesn't like it when we say "laser beams") that heat the water as it kills, making it a culinary master of disaster! It cooks, it swims, it deals death!! What more could an aspiring dictator want from his oceans?

Order today!

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