My feeble mind cannot wrap itself around this superior plot twist in what was once merely a story about a few puddles and a thieving raccoon.

What was yesterday thought to be Mark Trail ready to deliver a devastating discourse on the dangers of draining dank, damp wetlands turns out to be a big motherfucking ALLIGATOR, and man is that sonofabitch huge! Luckily, our hapless and nefarious business woman wore heels to her land grab and has fallen! There's nary a mustachioed manservant to take the alligator's bite for her!

It's fine though. Afterall, there's a khaki-clad, forever 32 year old young man out there ready to jump into frame to wrestle alligators at a moments notice. What's that you say? He's not available? Where is he? Looking at some lame old geese with some geezer. Oh well...life can't all be fun and-OHSHITHE'SRIGHTBEHINDYOU!