Kelly unsucessfully attempts to bribe the now clean shaven Moss Green with the promise of a "big bonus," which is, no doubt, her vagina. Moss, who is now sober enough to shave, realizes that without beer goggles, Kelly looks like the sort of chick who was tied up in a burlap bag and thrown to the mountain lions.

Speaking of mountain lions, why are they the only animal Kelly wants to get a picture of? Are they the only animal? I understand wanting a picture of a horse bucking a bum off its back, but really, you've seen one Ranger Rick mountain lion cover, you've seen them all. Kelly is missing out on so many other great animals, that camel/bear hybrid in the lake for example, that I'm beginning to doubt her skills as a photographer or a person with eyesight.

Gah! Mark Trail! In his own strip! Extolling patience during this extremely long, drawn out, boring storyline! Mark! Don't leave! Punch Rusty, punch the dog, just please, please don't leave.

Also: Why is Roger such a fucking bitch?

7/5/08


What looked like an awful, boring strip on Saturday is secretly an awful, boring strip...with foreshadowing!

7/7/08


Moss Green needs a bit more liquid courage before he's willing to take pictures of the regal mountain lion, a beast so mysterious and strange that Kelly Welly is excited to hear of its existance on a mountain.

I suspect that it will be Kelly Welly receiving the Right Fist 'O Justice by the end of this arc. Between her awful grammar and threats and unruly eyebrows, she's just begging for a beatdown. Methinks that the line in the sand will be drawn when Kelly shoots Moss Green's horse out from under him, pours a bottle of vodka down his throat, and takes pictures of Moss the drunken Caucasian American Indian.

Everybody is about to be crushed by that huge...uhh...thing, so I highly doubt that the horses fracture matters, Moss.

Kelly's filming in panel two leads me to believe that Roger is standing somewhere off-panel with a boombox playing some slow 70's grooves. Moss is more into the hooch than whatever pie Cherry might be serving, so it's a no go on the porn front.

I bet that Kelly blames Moss Green's fall on firewater. He certainly looks like a drunk. It'll go like this:

Kelly Welly: Have you been having a drinkie, my little Native American guidesman?

Roger: Tee-hee!

Cherry Trail: What an awful sterotype!

(Cherry goes back to fixing dinner.)

Moss Green: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you. I'm white! I didn't ask to be called Moss, it just happened, you know? It's no better or worse than "Cherry" or "Roger without a last name" or "Kelly Welly."

Kelly Welly: I like my name!

(A shot of a big horned elk)

Big Horned Elk: Your name is fucking stupid.

(Kelly begins to cry like a woman, which suits her character because she's a woman.)

Moss Green: I'm out of here. You people don't pay me enough to put up with this shit.

(Cherry looks up from her dinner.)

Cherry Trail: Hmm? What will you do?

Moss Green: Buy me a handle of hooch and hope that you assholes die. Have a great one.

(Cherry goes back to making dinner.)

Kelly Welly: Can I help with that?

Cherry Trail: Sure, then we can both have Roger's baby.

Then would follow a month long storyline about the merits of adultery. Cherry is a woman and Roger is a man and Mark is way out in the forest somewhere and what with all those eggs going to waste, it just seems proper, you know?